I bet he comes in French.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let's get the cat blown out
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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