the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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