Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
