dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
