I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
