I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Randomize
