last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
