I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
