Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
