are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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