So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
