I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize