If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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