You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
