Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
