Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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