Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
