Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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