I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize