addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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