Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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