dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
