Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You ruined the universe
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
