one two three fourrrrnication!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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