Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will pee on everything he values.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
