party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
