just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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