grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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