those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
being pregnant is like rehab
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
