Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
