The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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