:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
