So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize