It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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