Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
