What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
