Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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