I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
