Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
