Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize