Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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