He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
