Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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