So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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