God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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