6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
