I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize