So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
