We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize