P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
