So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
