we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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