i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
