shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
