and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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