Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
