Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
