you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
wow bdsm is so cute
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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