The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
