Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
