Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
